These tips are not intended to become scripts for debriefings – don’t memorize, use your own words. It is essential to “keep it real” as a debriefer. People will figure out quickly if you aren’t speaking from your heart.
If we only accomplish one thing in a debriefing, acknowledging how bad the incident was accomplishes a lot. It is amazing how people in the midst of a horrendous loss welcome simple acknowledgment
“On a scale of 1 to 10 of things that suck, this is at least a 12.”
“It doesn’t get much harder than this.”
“You have suffered a terrible loss.”
(For professional responders and care-givers) “There really is no such thing as ‘professional distance.’ Some incidents will affect you deeply and that doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you. It just means that you are human. The idea that you can stay detached from everyone you encounter in crisis is a myth… especially when children or elderly people are victims.”
“Sometimes the hardest part of an incident is what might have happened.” This applies when an incident turns out well, but easily could have been far worse. Actual incident examples: A child’s hand is traumatically amputated, but surgeons successfully reattach it. Due to a series of mistakes by a team, a man falls 24 feet, but survives with no major injuries.
The Bay Area CISM Team is made up of former and present first responders, counselors, therapists and others who have been trained by the Centre for Living with Dying, the ICISF or other accredited CISM training organization. The tips and techniques on this site are based on their collective experience and wisdom. Feel free to add your tips and thoughts in comments.
Also when the victim is strongly identified with someone you love-a spouse, a child, a parent, a best friend etc.