These tips are not intended to become scripts for debriefings – don’t memorize, use your own words. It is essential to “keep it real” as a debriefer. People will figure out quickly if you aren’t speaking from your heart.

Gratitude: “Thank you for having the courage to come here, even though you can’t know what will happen.” The second part is especially important when the group includes people who have never been in a debriefing.

Time: “Does anybody have a hard stop time?” “How much time do we have?” Ideally, everybody stays the whole time, but if that is impossible, try to go through the whole process once, before anyone has to go. Or have a debriefer go out 10-15 minutes early with those who have to leave.

Confidentiality: “We ask that you don’t take anyone else’s story out of this room. It is okay to take your own story out of here, but please don’t take anyone else’s out of here. Is that okay with everyone?”

Participation: “I want you to know that it is perfectly okay if you sit here quietly the whole time. But I also will invite you to share your story because that will probably help the other people understand what happened.” In reality, sharing will also help people realize that although everyone reacts differently, many are feeling the same things.

Purpose: “It may sound strange, but we want you to know that we are not here to make this better. We are here because [brief, direct summary, such as "Your friend and co-worker, John Smith, killed himself]. We can’t make that better. We are here to support you right now, but more important, our goal is to help you be the best support for each other that you can be. In the end, that is what gets people through this kind of thing. You don’t get over it, you don’t ‘move on.’ The best we can do is figure out how to live with it – and you are the best support for each other.”